Food, Hunger, and Appearances

There is nothing like being hungry and being able to eat.

Have you sat down and thought about that?  Have you stood up and continued to think about it?  I don't want to be sentimental, but the fact that if I'm hungry I can eat is amazing.

That being said, I feel like abusing my good fortune.

So, I am a very hungry dude, hours after waking up and not eating because I am distracted by things like, cat gifs, cat pictures, cat stories, and Youtube I still haven't eaten.

I venture downstairs to find a whole chicken (it was dead) waiting for me.  And you may not know this about me, but I can eat.  Yesterday I ate a whole 12 inch pizza then a fudge brownie desert with a mango smoothie, and then I had a burger later on.  Whatever, I work out.

That makes it okay in my head.

So, I love finding a 2.5 pound dead and skinned bird waiting for my hungry face.  Also enjoyable for me, is ripping the chicken apart with my bare damn hands, because I am a man, and need not the finer things such as eating utensils.  That being said, take away my cell phone or iPod and I'll fight you.

Yum yum yum, so I've torn the chicken limb from limb, wing from body and am ready to eat.

Which brings me to my next point, my body.  I got fitted for a suit yesterday at the local mall.  Am I buying a suit?  What kind of occasion?  The answer to both of these questions is no.

Thankfully, I am great at acting like I need to buy a $400.00 suit in the interest of getting my measurements so I can buy much cheaper clothes.  Now don't get me wrong, I love dressing up for a formal occasion, I love suits, and ties, and shiny leather shoes.  Unfortunately, no matter how much of my budget I remove from food and gas, I can't fit in $400.00 suit.  For now...

That being said, I was told I would need an athletic cut, because of my athletically cut body, which made me smile lots.  I guess I can wait for a $400.00 suit, seeing as how I don't need one, the woes of being me.

(If you want to help, I am a 42Regular coat, 16 inseam, 41.5 outseam, 42 in the chest, 50 overarm, 16 neck! (if you need other specifications, just ask!  I've got all this information on a piece of paper!))

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