Well it has certainly been a busy however many days since my last post...
A lot of great things have been happening that have kept me rather busy.
But those things are boring.
What isn't boring is my epic struggle against a Horse Fly.
This was no ordinary Thursday night, this was the night we left the outside door open to bring in the plants, because yes; it's literally going to freeze tonight, September 15th. Cool, pun not intended (sarcasm on the other hand...)
So I'm bringing in some heavy ass potted plants when suddenly several flies and other insects make their collective presence known by loudly flying about the living room area.
Many died in the initial assault.
But morale was still high for the insects for their Great and Powerful Champion Horse Fly lived on.
Bewildered that I lost track of one of them, I went up to my room to pout, only to find him being a loud ass horse fly near my computer.
These were tight quarters and as awesome as it is to spray raid all over your computer and screen, it isn't. I feinted an escape (as a ploy to get the fly out of my room) and I knew I had the upper hand when he followed.
With silent rage I followed the fly into my bathroom, and closed the door effectively trapping him inside with me and bottle of Raid. He dodged spray after spray, and I quickly left the bathroom with my lungs only slightly burning. At this point I was wondering to myself 'how the fuck is he still alive?'
I needed to upgrade my arsenal.
A towel and bottle of raid would be the means to his grave.
After airing out the room by quickly fanning the door open and closed I covered my mouth with my shirt collar and ran in. Swatting and hi-yahing about I finally pinned him to the ground. As I raised the bottle of Raid over his smug fly face he made one last swipe at my nose and with an impressive backward bend and swat, he was dropped, only to have the remainder of the bottle poured into his VERY BEING.
Victory was mine.
I'm still kind of coughing.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Legally an Adult
My mother had a few coworkers over for a dinner just now.
After shaking hands and saying hello, the topic of food was discussed. And my mother, being the informative type, told me that her guests had brought many good eats.
At this point I proceeded to say how excited I was to finally eat again, and that I thought it was funny how there was only ever food in the house when people came over. I also said to her that my bruises were healing up fine, and that I had to switch gauze pads, but the bleeding had generally stopped.
Her coworkers looked confused.
After not sleeping much again, I am unsure as to whether this is because they believed me, or because I am 20 years old; and lying about not having anything to eat, and being beaten is incredibly inane, and does not invoke much sympathy. Which is all I can really hope for.
But it was apparently a little funny.
After shaking hands and saying hello, the topic of food was discussed. And my mother, being the informative type, told me that her guests had brought many good eats.
At this point I proceeded to say how excited I was to finally eat again, and that I thought it was funny how there was only ever food in the house when people came over. I also said to her that my bruises were healing up fine, and that I had to switch gauze pads, but the bleeding had generally stopped.
Her coworkers looked confused.
After not sleeping much again, I am unsure as to whether this is because they believed me, or because I am 20 years old; and lying about not having anything to eat, and being beaten is incredibly inane, and does not invoke much sympathy. Which is all I can really hope for.
But it was apparently a little funny.
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